


the hex lesbians

by i_should_be_asleep_probably



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, WandaVision (TV)
Genre: F/F, Kinda AU, Lesbian Monica, and wanda has some ships she'd like to input, darmonica, lesbian darcy, lewbeau, monica and darcy are in the hex together, oneshot?? maybe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 15:48:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29528733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/i_should_be_asleep_probably/pseuds/i_should_be_asleep_probably
Summary: when darcy and monica get sucked into the hex together, wanda plays matchmaker and makes them the Neighborhood Lesbian Couple. set in the ~2000s era.
Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Monica Rambeau
Comments: 17
Kudos: 224





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by a post by @gayshipsandanxiety on tumblr (https://gayshipsandanxiety.tumblr.com/post/643024127725371392/au-where-the-hex-swallows-up-monica-and-jimmy-as)

The Sword base was quiet, save for the shuffling of feet and the eerie echoing of the most recent episode of Wanda’s therapy show from 40 different televisions. No orders were being given. Everyone had fallen into something of a rhythm, like they were co-workers at an office instead of government agents investigating a break in reality. Everyone seemed calm and undisturbed, except for Jimmy Woo.

Jimmy was stationed in Darcy’s old desk which now was covered in screens. He had 5 different laptops running facial recognition, searching the episodes for any sight of Darcy Lewis and Monica Rambeau. Jimmy himself looked like he was being held together by a single piece of sewing string. His hair was parted on the wrong side and the back looked like he got attacked by a bird. His suit had enough coffee stains you’d need to use both hands to count and his eyes looked heavy, highlighted by purple bags. The other agents were sure he hadn’t slept more then 30min in the past four days.

Jimmy Woo wasn’t the type of man to become undone, save for when his only two friends disappear into an uncategorizable, reality defiant anomaly. He only knew Monica and Darcy for three weeks, but three weeks was longer then any friendship he’s had since the third grade. And they both seemed to also like being around him, so _damnit he’s not loosing his only friends to a stupid fucking Avenger_. 

When Jimmy was taking one of those 30min catnaps, Monica and Darcy decide to make it back on screen. All five laptops notify him, naturally, by beeping very loudly and very insistently. Jimmy jumps awake to see Tommy and Billy knocking on the door of a new set, and said door being flung open by Darcy Lewis.

*******************************

“Now, Tommy and Billy. Your father and I have something to discuss. Go over to Olivia and Geraldine’s, okay? Olivia baked cookies this morning, I think,” Wanda said to her sons, her voiceunusually even, not on par with the emotion on her face. Her eyes glowed a faint red, and Vision stood stiff like a plank. Not that the twins noticed- Olivia’s cookies were some of the best baked goods they’ve had.

Tommy grabbed Billy’s arm, speeding across the street before he could protest. Billy didn’t love sweets as much as Tommy did- he’d rather have a bowl of fruit then a cake. However, Tommy was slamming his hand against Olivia and Geraldine’s door. 

Olivia answered the door with a big smile, dressed in low rise jeans and an apron that said “kiss the cook”. Her ring finger adorned an elaborate gold wedding ring, though she wasn’t married _legally_. On her hip was a mixing bowl, and she was hard at work whisking together some egg whites and sugar. 

“Hey, kiddos. What are you doin’ on my doorstep?” Olivia cracked at the kids. 

“Mom and Dad are having an argument,” Billy said, while Tommy nibbled on a cookie he retrieved at some point. 

“Oh, well that’s too bad. C’mon in, I could use some help baking.” Olivia stepped aside to let the twins in. Billy immediately made his way towards the couch- he loved Olivia and Geraldine’s couch. Tommy, on the other hand, dashed into the kitchen. “Y’know, if I had kids, I wouldn’t let them watch me and Gerry fight either. We can get viscious.” She caught Billy eyeing the chessboard. “Oh, Geraldine will be home any minute now. She’ll play you.” 

“You need any help with this?” Tommy stood on a stool in the kitchen that wasn’t there previously. His fingers got mysteriously close to all of the baked goods, but Olivia slapped him away.

“Uh-uh. You gotta work for it, kiddo.” She passed him the bowl of merigue batter. “Don’t overwhip it or I will personally take it up with your mother. Stiff peaks!” Tommy sighed loudly and grabbed the bowl and began whisking. 

After the meringues were in the oven and Tommy had eaten about a batch of cookies, Geraldine’s key jingled in the door. “Olivia, I’m home!” The brunette strode out of the kitchen to her wife, and gave her a quick kiss. 

“Mhmm. How was your day and why do your lips taste like sugar?” Geraldine asked with a small smile.

“I was very bored and we had too much sugar in the pantry.” Olivia smiled back, keeping her arm around Geraldine’s waist. “Also, Billy and Tommy are here.”

“Hey!” They both said in unison from the couch, where Billy was destroying Tommy at chess.

“Go save the poor kid,” Olivia whispered to Geraldine, causing Geraldine to go take Tommy’s place in the chess game. 

—

A few hours later, Wanda came over to get the kids. She stood on the porch to Geraldine and Olivia’s home in her PJs, expecting to just head home immediately. But Olivia had other plans.

“Are you sure you don’t want a glass of wine? Or whiskey? Or beer? We have it all.” Olivia was no longer in her apron. “The kids are passed out upstairs, they won’t notice.”

“Oh well, if you insist. I’ve had a long day.” She took off her slippers at the door and went to the living room, where Geraldine sat with a glass of whiskey. Olivia poured Wanda and herself a of glass of wine, leaving the bottle on the coffee table. She sat next to Geraldine, angling herself so she was leaning against her wife. 

“Spill.” Geraldine says, sounding empathetic. She silently offered a little bit of her drink to Olivia, and they took a sip of one another’s beverages. “The twins told us you and Vision had a fight.” 

Wanda scoffed into her drink. “Fight feels like an understatement. I’m doing so much for Vision, so much to keep our family together, and it feels like he doesn’t care. Does he not understand how much I’m sacrificing?” 

Geraldine nodded her head. “What are you sacrificing?”

Wanda blinked a couple times. “I… its the life of a housewife.” It should be noted that this is not the sacrifice. “He doesn’t understand how I gave up so many dreams for this. Not that I would give it all up- I’d kill a thousand people for my family.”  
“Haven’t you done that already?” Olivia asks.

Wanda whipped her head towards Olivia. “Excuse me?”

“Your dreams. Haven’t you killed a thousand dreams for them?” Olivia is covering, sensing Wanda’s anger.

Wanda settled a little bit, though definitely not confident in Olivia’s excuse. “I guess so. But Vision doesn’t understand- he thinks I’m hurting others by living this life.” The clock in Geraldine and Olivia’s living room rung midnight, and Wanda snapped out of her Vision-induced funk. “Oh, would you look at the time! I better get the kids and run- Uncle P is taking them to the mall tomorrow.”  
Geraldine and Olivia laughed. “All right- one’s in the guest room and the others in our room.” Geraldine says

Wanda lifted her hands, and the twins came floating downstairs in burritos of blankets and magic. “Would it be too much trouble for me to return the blankets tommorrow?” 

“Not at all! Have a good night!” Olivia said. After Wanda got out the front door, Olivia’s smile fell. “Look at how tired she is- we are never having children.”


	2. boom boom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geraldine/monica and olivia/darcy's calm night gets interrupted.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Hayward stares at the many screens on Jimmy’s desk, all but one replaying different parts of the scenes with Darcy and Monica. Some show Darcy (Olivia???) in the kitchen. Others show her and Monica (Geraldine again) cuddling on the couch, chatting with Wanda over a glass of wine. One particular laptop is paused on their kiss when Geraldine gets home.

“I can assure you, sir, this isn’t a joke,” Jimmy says with incredible sincerity. He was too sleep-deprived to notice the sarcasm, especially since his last catnap was cut short.

“Why on God’s green earth did Wanda cast two S.W.O.R.D. agents as the neighborhood lesbians?” Hayward said the last two words with a bite of snark and negativity that made Jimmy wince. “And why is she keeping them closeby?”

_Maybe she just needs new friends._ Jimmy could almost hear Darcy’s response to the rhetorical question in his head, and he suddenly felt a pang of guilt. Granted, it was his fault she and Monica were in the Hex in the first place.He shook it off as best he could and got back to work, though- Monica and Darcy wouldn’t get themselves out of the Hex. And he wasn’t going to spend his time dwelling on his emotions if that time could be used to help them out.

“Agent Woo, Dr. Lewis and Captain Rambeau are back on the show,” a random agent whispered in Jimmy’s ear as Hayward started dishing out purposeless orders. Jimmy whipped around in his desk so aggressively that the nearby agents turned around in alarm. He didn’t notice, of course, since he was already ready with a notepad and paper.

—————

The scene opened in Olivia and Geraldine’s bedroom. Geraldine was in their bed, tucked under the blankets with a book. Olivia was sitting in a chair by their window with a cup of tea, playing a game on her hot pink flip phone. The room was quiet, at least until there was a large crash outside of the window.

“Did you hear that?” Geraldine said, closing her book with her finger as a bookmark. 

“Hear what?” Olivia said, not really looking up from her game. Until, of course, she lost, which caused her to slam the flip phone closed aggressively.

Another crash caused Geraldine to jump up from their bed and join Darcy by the window. They both peeked out the window at the same time, and saw nothing.

“I’m sure everything’s fine, Gerry. I didn’t see a thing,” Olivia consoled her wife in a gentle tone. Her voice alone caused the tension in Geraldine’s shoulders allieviate itself. Geraldine sighed, reaching her arm around Olivia’s waist and leaning in to press a soft kiss to her lips.

“I think you’re right,” Geraldine said softly.

“Of course I am.” Olivia was not right- a bright flash of blue and red light came from the yard of the Visions, quickly followed by yet another crash. 

“OKAY, WELL I SAW THAT,” Olivia said urgently, pulling on her slippers as Geraldine grabbed a robe from their closet. The wives dashed down their staircase and out their kitchen door into their yard, adjacent to that of the Visions. There was a break in the fence, “accidentally” formed after the twins first tried Olivia’s cookies. Olivia and Geraldine squeezed through the ten-year-old-boy-sized gap, only to find the most mundane scene in the Vision yard.

Wanda was lounging on the back deck with a glass of wine. Billy was kicking around a soccer ball rather poorly. Tommy was asleep in a hammock. The only strange part of the scene was the fact it was 10:30 pm. 

“Hey, neighbor!” Wanda called to them, beckoning for them to join her on the deck. They slowly made their way over, both of them very confused. “What brings you our way at this hour of the night?”  
“Nothing, just…” Olivia lost her train of thought in her confusion. “Thought we saw something.”

“Did you lose something? The boys can help you look.” Wanda’s smile was so obviously fake, but only to the viewers. They could very easily tell she wanted Olivia and Geraldine gone.

“No. We saw a large flash of light and wanted to make sure everything was okay.” Geraldine eyed Wanda. “What are you all doing up? It’s very late.”

Wanda laughed. “The boys got their report cards back- their treat is staying up as late as they want tonight.” _Not what was happening._

“Okay then. We’re… we’re gonna go to bed now.” Olivia felt a little embarrassed, considering she and Geraldine charged into the Maximoff’s backyard very late at night with seemingly no reason. As they left, she whispered to Geraldine, “what was that about?”, to which her wife responded with a shrug.

After Gerry and Olivia were out of the scene, Tommy comes dashing out from the hammock on which he was napping, Billy stops kicking the soccer ball with a “thank god” and Wanda drops the wine glass with no care.

“Okay Billy, let's try again. Don’t blow anything up this time and Mom will be very proud!” Wanda stepped forward with her hand aglow, Billy imitating her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heres some more cuz it's lowk fun to write. sorry if the syntax/tone/style/whateverthefuckitscalled doesnt carry through

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked! might write another chapter if I feel like it :))))


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